It's all about The Dirt:

Sometimes when I blog, I feel like I’m writing to a screen that has no end. It’s open, yet it’s closed. It’s free, yet it feels somewhat caged in cyberspace. It’s a white screen with a black hole. What do the faces of the readers look like? Are there smiles? Does it go in one ear and out the other? How many thousands of other words have you been inundated with before you read this?

Where’s the connection amidst the clicks and scrolls?

Hello, is there anybody out there?

Where is the personal link behind the box?

Facebook, you knew that the mastermind behind the computer has feelings… and you capitalized on connection.

When you start a blog, there’s a rolling momentum that encourages you to forge ahead. The thrill of clicking the “Publish” button and sending a post out to elicit some sort of connection or share some tidbits of knowledge that I stumble upon. The new and exciting feel of jumping on a new bike for the first time… or maybe just a new life.

Woo hoo!! The creativity, ideas, and blog posts spew out onto the screen with ease.

Then I feel like I’m just writing on a wall. Yes, you all can see but it feels like it floats out there as cyber bits of rock among the asteroids. Everybody is blogging with gazillions of words. Blogs are tangled like snarled ponytails (ask my daughter about those). When I feel discouraged, then comes life. The idea pipeline gets clogged. Muddle in the middle. Life oozes into the cracks that allowed the expression to escape, stifling the time and energy that zaps to a halting stop. Now is where the hard part comes. Forcing posts or pushing creativity does NOT work… the flow needs to re-emerge as something new and fresh once again.

So I’m “back in the saddle” once again: Riding, writing and life. The new flow goes, the creativity re-awakened and the energy disperses more evenly to create balance. I completed my road race goal and come back to tipping the scales the other way… at least for a while.

But that’s what a scale is for, right? To hit the tipping point, then come back home to balance.

What comes with me is an understanding that there is some tidal movement: It can be a tidal wave, and then tiny lapping waves with barely a ripple. There is a time for certain moments to occur and then allowance to move on.

Thanks for hangin’ with me through Missing-in-action-May. Just know that I will always be real, and “real” is taking breaks too.

❤ ❤ ❤

To my sweet friend Becky for her birthday. Thank you for our years ‘ful’ of love, friendship and laughter. May we have many more… love you.

Confessions of a Mom perpetually dancing in cyberspace:

2 am Brilliant idea I had while drying my hair half awake so I don’t have to sleep on a wet pillow. I have this weird thing about showering before bed. It just makes me sleep better.

3 am Norah, the 6 yr. old announces “I just need someone to snuggle with”. How can you pass that up? Back to zzzz.

6 am Devin, the 11 yr. old asks “Can I have carob chips in my snack for lunch today?” More zzzzzz.

7 am Elle, the 9 yr. old comes in to say good morning, but it’s not morning for me yet. Then zzzzz again.

8 am “Mom, can you get up and make me breakfast? I’m really hungry.” I say sure, just as soon as I get up…zzzzz.

Get up. I need to feed my birds, as I say.

Why is the floor crunchy? Why is the laundry room floor heaped? Where did those jeans come from that are capris now? Are you going to get out of your pajamas today? Is your butt glued to the seat? Why do you have two different socks on? Didn’t you have that shirt on for the third day in a row now?

Ahhhh…where’s the balance? My finger’s on it, then it goes away. I catch it again, then it disappears as fast as it reappears. Is Dirt filling my eyes, ears and brain? I understand there are waves of inspiration, but this is insane. If my head fills with anymore memories, blog titles, ideas that whisk me away to some imaginary place and having a beehive brain, I’m checking myself into bloggers anonymous…already.

As is with every new and exploding adventure, the flame will turn to a spark.

I relish in the momentum. I’m amazed at the whirling storms within my thoughts. Thunderheads of energy. Squalls that stir up the wind in my life, and then bring it a breath of fresh air. Opening up my eyes to a new way of thinking. Stepping out to experience “a seamless connection” with new ventures. Come share one with me…

My solo snowshoe hike in the dark:

It was the sweetest snowshoe hike ever. Glistening snow, muffled sounds, deep steps in the snow up the road. I work up a sweat within five minutes. The quiet sounds of my snowshoes turn squeeky and clunky as I travel on the plowed road, and then I arrive at the trail. There it was…looming in the darkness, waiting for me to travel on it’s white blanket. I climbed over the plow bank and started up, huffing and puffing all the way. Climb, breathe harder, climb, breathe harder. I turn a switchback, duck under a sagging branch, and stop to catch my breath. My heart is leaping out of my chest and looking for a bit of calm. I squint at the peaceful setting as snow lands in my eyelashes, standing high on a mountain top with a fuzzy view of the valley below. My headlamp illuminates the way to a path of animal tracks left like a trail of breadcrumbs for me to follow. It’s so incredibly beautiful and the best high ever; it’s euphoria at it’s finest. I have no fear.

Afterwards, I settle back down to my family, to my life and to my next adventure. The tried and true vs. the exciting and new.

Tamale Pie

This yummy pie is a weekly staple in our house. We’ve put spinach, zucchini, carrots or grab any other veggie. The bean protein can be substituted like ground bison or turkey. And with a major time squeeze, it turns into a veggie/bean stir fry with polenta on the side.

Filling
1 med. onion, chopped
1 clove crushed garlic
2 tbsp olive oil or coconut oil
2 tsp chili powder
1/2 tsp cumin
2 cups of cooked pinto, kidney or black beans
1 tsp celtic sea salt
2 tbsp tomato paste
1 can black olives, chopped
1/2 cup of fresh corn
1 green or red pepper
1/2 cup of chopped celery

Crust
3 cups of boiling water
1 cup of polenta or coarsely ground cornmeal
1 tsp salt
1 tsp chili powder
1 can chopped green chilis
1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese

Sauté onion and garlic in oil. When soft, add chili powder, cumin and garlic. Continue to cook until spices are fragrant. Meantime, mash beans and mix with tomato paste into the onion, along with the other filling ingredients. When hot, set aside.

Stir cornmeal into boiling water. Cook and stir until thick, adding the salt, chili powder and green chilis once the mixture comes to a boil.

Grease an 8″ x 8″ pan and spread 2/3 of the cornmeal mixture over the bottom and the sides; then pour the bean/veggie mixture into the cornmeal crust, and layer the remaining cornmeal on top. Sprinkle the top crust with cheese and cook on 350° for 30 minutes. Serves 4 generously. Enjoy!
Recipe shared from The New Laurel’s Kitchen.