It's all about The Dirt:

“When you find yourself being ruled by the scores and outcomes of your physical tasks, build a stronger, more sublime base; focus on the process and appreciate each moment of play. You can do this by asking the question: ‘Why am I doing this… really?’ Get in touch with your inner, deeper motives for entering this particular arena of sports and fitness−why you play the game. You’ll discover that much of it has little to do with the outcome or the product. It is the process, joy, satisfaction and fun in the execution of a particular skill or move that turns you on. There is a strong divine connection between you and your sport. This is the dance that we refer to in which you totally give in to the natural movement of your physical routine. No need to think; silence the conscious mind. Put all aside; just play and dance the dance.” Working Out, Working Within, Jerry Lynch and Chungliang Al Huang

No more training for me… just dancing!

“Motherhood: All love begins and ends there.” – Robert Browning

Fear
“Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.
The more experiments you make the better.
What if they are a little coarse, and you may get your coat soiled or torn?
What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice?
Up again; you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today was probably the longest ride I did on my mountain bike without falling once. The only thing I changed was my fear. I wasn’t afraid at all today. I guess I’ve taken enough falls that I’m not “so afraid of a tumble.”

(bike art photo)

Survive. v. To remain alive or in existence. To remain functional or usable.
Thrive. v. To grow strongly and vigorously. To do well; prosper

I get this, but do I live it? Do I live life to coast, or to make the most?

I face the reality that this is hard for me. I want to make the most of every day, to feel satisfied that I can lay my head on the pillow and knew I gave the daylight hours my best. The day needs:

  ♥  To be productive
  ♥  To nurture and love
  ♥  To stretch, exercise or exert energy
  ♥  To share or write
  ♥  To feel there’s some sort of harmony… even for a minute

If I really think about what this means to me, it does not mean the same to everyone: Rock climbing to taking the dog for a walk, loving/caring for a parent to sending a note to a friend. A hug… a ride… a smile… a connection… a bite of something tasty… a brilliant, spring flower rising to the sun… breathing. Somehow, some way.

Some days just suck. I’ll say it. But do they really? Or am I focusing on the bad and the ugly? Do I need to dig deeper to find the moments that matter? For me, they can be a pearl in the ocean of bitterness. A gem buried in the coal. A diamond in the rough.

As I come off a huge high from a mountain bike race, everything feels good. Vibrations are high, endorphins raging, success of accomplishment, the joy of exerting myself and thriving. I didn’t race to survive it, I raced to thrive. I wanted to get the most out of it. I went anaerobic, took a wrong turn, and ran over a rock cairn. I could have been scared, leery or less confident… but I chose to be strong, lean and on my game. I whipped through the winding singletrack with flow and ease. I caught up to riders ahead, tailed them and passed. I gave it my best and pushed as hard as I could to understand the meaning and feeling of success. That doesn’t mean beating all my competitors, it just means to surpass what I thought I was capable of.

Winning has a whole new look for me these days… and so does thriving.

I love my beginner’s spirit. As Lance put on his time trial bike for the ‘09 Tour, this is “the bomb” of racing. The new excitement and experience must take over the jitters and cage-rattling. Each race is a bike notch in my belt to build on.

Quoted from Working out, Working Within, “According to the ancient Chinese notion of the ‘ripple effect,’ when you drop a pebble in the water, everything that comes within the water’s wake is directly affected by it.” When you’re on… you’re on. When you’re not, you still have a choice to survive through it, or thrive.

I will try to walk away thriving from any experience, no matter what the outcome is… I’m bound and determined. It’s my stubborn Irish blood, or it’s just me knowing that I don’t want to settle for second best.

Do you choose to coast, or make the most? Where are you in your game?

(Hand photo)