It's all about The Dirt:

Heave ho up the mountain, escaping in the dark to the hidden trail. Snowshoes are well tightened with light layers on so I can warm myself up by moving fast. Into the abyss I go…

What happens to my brain as I begin to climb in the dark? Something very different opens and lights up my path. Is it the excitement of the anticipating journey? Not knowing what will be around the next switchback? The conquering climb to the top? The peace of it being just me?

I’m not sure what the buzz is, but I’m totally into it. I think I begin to take the sunlit view for granted sometimes, although I said I never would. Maybe it’s the nightly glow, or the mystery of it all. Maybe it’s that I’m fully surrounded by nature and connected to the each branch that tickles me as I pass; each twinkling light of the city getting more and more distant as I lay down each foot.

Maybe it’s my intrigue into the unknown.

I don’t feel lost or scared or misguided. I feel lead to a place where I feel safe and warm. My heart pumps and moves my legs freely; allowing me to gain energy, move faster and breathe deeply. Cleansing breaths in the cool, clear air cleanse my soul.

Obviously this is a spiritually huge moment for me…

Then the lookout bench arrives. A perfect place to rest, reflect and recharge. An ideal place to ponder, praise and be at peace. I definitely feel like I could just fall asleep and end up in the morning as a bench icicle…and be preserved as another piece of nature. To stop in time and relish the moment. True bliss.

Do I stop enough to relish the moment?

As my daughter came from her friend’s house down the short block, it took her twenty minutes yesterday. Stop, kick the snow. Couple more steps. Stop, eat the snow. Couple more steps. Stop, make snow angels…look up at the sky…reach your hands up to the falling snow and catch it…slip and slide… play…enjoy. She was present in herself. She felt the joy of a leisurely walk home to refuel her soul.

Do you only have to be a kid to do that?

I have found this year to be so childlike in so many ways for me. To reach in and grab my happy roots. Find what matters and pull from the immature excitement that I sometimes miss dearly, and often neglect. Do what makes me jump out of my skin with laughter, joy and excitement. To live with intention and gusto. No regrets…

I have every intention of making this year even better. Letting life move me in a positive direction that will catapult me to new places…places I never thought I could ever get to. It doesn’t have to happen in the Spring to grow new shoots or plant new seeds. I will unearth the dirt and come clean with the real spiritual being that I am.

And it’d be even sweeter to see it happen in you…

Live your New Year in utter bliss every chance you get.

Confessions of a Mom perpetually dancing in cyberspace:

2 am Brilliant idea I had while drying my hair half awake so I don’t have to sleep on a wet pillow. I have this weird thing about showering before bed. It just makes me sleep better.

3 am Norah, the 6 yr. old announces “I just need someone to snuggle with”. How can you pass that up? Back to zzzz.

6 am Devin, the 11 yr. old asks “Can I have carob chips in my snack for lunch today?” More zzzzzz.

7 am Elle, the 9 yr. old comes in to say good morning, but it’s not morning for me yet. Then zzzzz again.

8 am “Mom, can you get up and make me breakfast? I’m really hungry.” I say sure, just as soon as I get up…zzzzz.

Get up. I need to feed my birds, as I say.

Why is the floor crunchy? Why is the laundry room floor heaped? Where did those jeans come from that are capris now? Are you going to get out of your pajamas today? Is your butt glued to the seat? Why do you have two different socks on? Didn’t you have that shirt on for the third day in a row now?

Ahhhh…where’s the balance? My finger’s on it, then it goes away. I catch it again, then it disappears as fast as it reappears. Is Dirt filling my eyes, ears and brain? I understand there are waves of inspiration, but this is insane. If my head fills with anymore memories, blog titles, ideas that whisk me away to some imaginary place and having a beehive brain, I’m checking myself into bloggers anonymous…already.

As is with every new and exploding adventure, the flame will turn to a spark.

I relish in the momentum. I’m amazed at the whirling storms within my thoughts. Thunderheads of energy. Squalls that stir up the wind in my life, and then bring it a breath of fresh air. Opening up my eyes to a new way of thinking. Stepping out to experience “a seamless connection” with new ventures. Come share one with me…

My solo snowshoe hike in the dark:

It was the sweetest snowshoe hike ever. Glistening snow, muffled sounds, deep steps in the snow up the road. I work up a sweat within five minutes. The quiet sounds of my snowshoes turn squeeky and clunky as I travel on the plowed road, and then I arrive at the trail. There it was…looming in the darkness, waiting for me to travel on it’s white blanket. I climbed over the plow bank and started up, huffing and puffing all the way. Climb, breathe harder, climb, breathe harder. I turn a switchback, duck under a sagging branch, and stop to catch my breath. My heart is leaping out of my chest and looking for a bit of calm. I squint at the peaceful setting as snow lands in my eyelashes, standing high on a mountain top with a fuzzy view of the valley below. My headlamp illuminates the way to a path of animal tracks left like a trail of breadcrumbs for me to follow. It’s so incredibly beautiful and the best high ever; it’s euphoria at it’s finest. I have no fear.

Afterwards, I settle back down to my family, to my life and to my next adventure. The tried and true vs. the exciting and new.